Sunday, April 26, 2015

Broken Window

1. I broke a small window just a little bit ago. I had worked all day on something. There had been dust, and I had opened a little window to let it out. I tried to work very hard, and I wanted everything to look and be perfect. After going to bed, I remembered that I had left the window open, so I got up and went down there to close it. Well, when I closed it, it broke. Everything sure isn't perfect now. 

2. Chastity saved my life. Not as a figure of speech. Not as an overstatement. Not as an exaggeration. Chastity literally saved my life. I came of age as a sexual minority at the height of the HIV epidemic. Something may get me tomorrow, but as of April 26, 2015, I'm still alive. That's partly why my patron deity is so important to me.

3. I was sleepy before, but now I'm wide awake and worrying--about everything. Everything seems awry, amiss, imperfect. This is how it goes. It's the nature of life. I should just remember that, and focus on action, and let go of useless worrying.

4. Christianity is the only game in town, so I went to church today. The people, the service, and the building were completely lovely. I saved the program and brought it home with me, so I could study it--the references, the terms, the calendar, etc., but I didn't have time, because I was doing that project, related to which I broke the window. 

Okay. Now I'm gonna turn off the computer, turn on the classical station at a soft volume, turn off the light, pray, and most importantly of all, stop worrying. 

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